Topical Steroid Withdrawal

So it has been quite awhile since I updated this blog. I honestly must admit, I almost forgot the existence of this blog till today, I received an email notification of a comment from a fellow eczema suffer who has benefitted from what I have shared through this blog.

I know I have been away for a really long time. I have lots to update you guys. Basically, 391 days ago, I made the decision to completely stay away from steroids. It's called Topical Steroid Withdrawal (TSW). I realised that my skin NEVER got better whenever I followed the doctors' instructions to apply topical steroid.

It was journey of faith. Trusting that God will heal me. The first few months of TSW was hell. My skin was addicted to steroids and it was like withdrawing from a drug addiction. My skin felt like it was burning. It was red and raw. It is so easy to feel completely helpless and lousy about yourself in that state. I thank God that He has been faithful and good to me.

391 days later, my skin is so much more manageable. It has been the best I ever remember it to be. Eczema wasn't the problem. Steroids prescribed by doctors made it seem like a problem. There are many misinformed eczema warriors out there. I pray that they will be healed from eczema.

Dear Heavenly Father,

I thank You so much for always being there for me. For seeing me through the darkest seasons of my life. Father, I thank you for healing me and getting me through TSW. I pray that You will continue to empower me to boldly proclaim Your love and goodness in this dark and chaotic world. Father, I commit all the other eczema warriors into Your hands. Only You would know and understand the complete exasperation that we feel from time to time. I pray that You will strengthen us and help us through each day. Help us see ourselves in a way that You see us - Way beyond our skin.  Father, I pray that you will surround and bless each and every eczema warrior who may be searching for answers. May You reveal it to us in Your time. Thank You Father for this opportunity to share my life experience with the world. May it be a blessing to whoever who may come across this post.

In Jesus' Name we pray,
Amen!

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty

Oral Steroids

It's been awhile since I updated this blog. Well, there's just simply so many things to update on. So basically, I've been put on a dose of oral steroids because my eczema flared up pretty bad. Although the steroids are supposed to suppress the inflammation, they give other side effects such as mood swings, moon face, body aches... basically it messes with your body. At times I just don't feel like my normal self anymore and it's frustrating.

It frustrates me that I could not put all that I'm experiencing fully into words. Yes I find it so hard and I question God asking Him why He puts me through this. I'm physically, psychologically and emotionally exhausted.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I'm calling out to You. Only You know what I'm going thru right now. I pray for forgiveness for lacking in the faith. I pray that You'll deliver me and help me through. Only You know how much I want to be called back Home.  Father, help me seek You in this difficult time. I pray that even in this trial, You would use me and my suffering to touch the lives if other people.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty

Random thought #1

Sometimes I don't know what hurts more.... Failing my practical driving test or being reminded that I'm different.

Back to School

So it's my first week back to school. I don't know if it's because my room in dorm is dusty or something. .. When I went back to hall, i felt terribly itchy. It might be because it's back to the stressful environment as well... That's one thing about eczema you'd never really know the exact cause of it.

The picture of me in pyjamas. It's sometimes called the wet wrap. It's basically the application of very thick moisturiser on skin followed by a layer of wet PJs and then a layer of dry PJs. It's really uncomfortable and time consuming :( It's times like these where I really wished I was normal but I guess I don't have not much choice as an eczema sufferer.

I think I've mentioned this before. But stress does soooooooooooooooo much harm to me. I realise how much my skin flares up when I'm stressed. Other than that, my skin flares up when I'm also on my period. :((

It's hard. I really wanna be normal. -cries-
Yes, just a random update for the new year.

Dear Heavenly Father, thank You for seeing me through the week. Even as I experience a flare up right now, I pray for healing and Your protection. May You heal me from within and give me the peace that the world can't give. If it's Your will,  take away the stress that I am experiencing and restore my skin to perfection that only You can give. Father, I pray for other eczema sufferers as well.  May You be with them and encourage them through the tough times. Let them experience You for themselves.  Thank You Father for sending Your only son to die for our sins. By His resurrection, there is power of forgiveness and healing. I claim on the promise and receive with outstretched arms. I pray for each and every individual that may come across this post. May You let them experience You in a personal and intimate way. Keep them in Your loving arms.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty

Blessed Christmas

I always loved Christmas! For me, it is the beginning of something Awesome (the Salvation plan) that Christ has for us. Skin update... It is still red, itchy and patchy. Fashion update... Still the usual jeans/ long pants with a blouse.

Still not brave enough to show the world my battle scars. It is hard. It is painful. Most of all, it is itchy. I am sure many eczema sufferers out there will know how I feel... The rest of the world will think I am strange and they will never understand no matter how much I try to explain. :(

There's gonna be a healing service at All Saint's Anglican Church on the 28th Dec at 9am. I don't know if I should go for it. Mom says I should pray about it...

I do wanna get healed. But a part of me feels that if eczema is what God gave me so that I could blog and reach out to other people for Him. Then I would 'bite the bullet' and live with it to the best I can depending on Him for strength. I don't wanna sugar coat it or elude people into thinking that a Christian life is easy and does not require commitment on their part....

I digressed a lot. Here's wishing you and your loved ones a Merry Christmas! May the love, joy & peace of Christ be with you and your loved ones always~

Dear Heavenly Father,
I thank You for sending your only beloved son on Earth many years ago to die for our sins. Father, I know that You loved each and everyone of us. Though I cannot understand why You may allow others to suffer more, I pray that You will give them the strength and courage to overcome it. Father, I pray that You will teach us to trust You when times get tough and to hold on to Your promise that You will never leave us nor forsake us and we can freely call upon Your name for help. Father, I know it is not a coincidence that this person is reading my blog. I pray that You will let them experience You and Your love. Help me not to itch so much.

In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen!

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty

Confessions of an Eczema Sufferer

I had one of the worse flare ups I had thus far. Last night slightly after midnight I felt so itchy. Practically like a 'crazy woman' as I had no control over the itch. It was just so itchy! After battling an itch that lasted for what seemed hours, it prompted me post the confessions on an eczema sufferer on my social networking site.

Confessions of an Eczema Sufferer
I wish I was normal. You have no idea how envious I am of people with normal skin. I wish I didn't inflict harm on my skin whenever I itch uncontrollably leaving (battle) scars. I wish I didn't have to feel embarrassed when people ask me what's wrong with my skin. Most of all, I wish there was a cure for eczema. And for all these reasons, I struggle. I struggle to love myself.

This is me. One of the many fighters against eczema.

I am normally so optimistic and I never really liked showing others my weakness. But i guess the flare up yesterday really humbled me. I mean normal people wouldn't understand what it was like to have eczema and I was crazy enough to want them to know what it was like. I am thankful for the support and encouragement coming in from my loved ones. Many of them reassured me of the healing that was on the way coming from God.

When I first started this blog, I was afraid. Afraid of what people would think. But I now understand that God planted the idea of creating this blog to write about my eczema journey for His glory. Today will be the day that I will be sharing the link of the blog with the public.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I just want to thank You for Your love and mercies towards me thus far. Thank you for sending people to remind me of Your love and to encourage me in this journey of faith. Father, I know there is a reason why you gave me eczema. The healing process is on its way and when it comes, it will bring glory to Your name. Father, I pray for courage and wisdom to care for my body in the way You would want me to. Father, I also commit other eczema fighters into Your hands. I pray for Your divine intervention and healing in Your time. I pray that whoever reads this blog will be blessed by You and go away experiencing Your love and peace. Thank You Father for you unending love and grace to me.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen!

Xoxo
Eczema beauty

Brokeness

Had a sudden flare up today after gym session. It was so itchy. I couldn't help but scratch and injure my skin. Normal people will never understand the trauma. They think eczema people want to scratch.  Correction, we can't help but scratch. In easier terms, we just can't help it. We're not like normal people.

I burst into tears. It's so hard. Where's the healing God promised?  I questioned. Why did God create me this way? Why can't I have normal skin? I have never had the courage to wear shorts or miniskirts for I have ugly skin. It's just so hard. I can't help but be envious of girls with flawless skin & limbs. I'm just this broken person with ugly skin...

Dear God,
I'm trying so hard to trust. I don't know what else to do anymore. The itch is just so unbearable. I know it is probably because of sin that i have to battle eczema. But Father, i believe and claim on the promise that Jesus died on the cross for me and His resurrection proves that He has overcome death. Eczema, pales in comparison and i believe that there is power in Jesus' name. Help me remember that. Heavenly Father,  I know at times I've disappointed You and I ask for forgiveness. Teach me to love you more so that I can love myself and then love others as well. Father,  I commit whoever reading this into Your loving arms. Grant them Your love & peace. Let them experience You personally.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty