Oral Steroids

It's been awhile since I updated this blog. Well, there's just simply so many things to update on. So basically, I've been put on a dose of oral steroids because my eczema flared up pretty bad. Although the steroids are supposed to suppress the inflammation, they give other side effects such as mood swings, moon face, body aches... basically it messes with your body. At times I just don't feel like my normal self anymore and it's frustrating.

It frustrates me that I could not put all that I'm experiencing fully into words. Yes I find it so hard and I question God asking Him why He puts me through this. I'm physically, psychologically and emotionally exhausted.

Dear Heavenly Father,
I'm calling out to You. Only You know what I'm going thru right now. I pray for forgiveness for lacking in the faith. I pray that You'll deliver me and help me through. Only You know how much I want to be called back Home.  Father, help me seek You in this difficult time. I pray that even in this trial, You would use me and my suffering to touch the lives if other people.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty

Brokeness

Had a sudden flare up today after gym session. It was so itchy. I couldn't help but scratch and injure my skin. Normal people will never understand the trauma. They think eczema people want to scratch.  Correction, we can't help but scratch. In easier terms, we just can't help it. We're not like normal people.

I burst into tears. It's so hard. Where's the healing God promised?  I questioned. Why did God create me this way? Why can't I have normal skin? I have never had the courage to wear shorts or miniskirts for I have ugly skin. It's just so hard. I can't help but be envious of girls with flawless skin & limbs. I'm just this broken person with ugly skin...

Dear God,
I'm trying so hard to trust. I don't know what else to do anymore. The itch is just so unbearable. I know it is probably because of sin that i have to battle eczema. But Father, i believe and claim on the promise that Jesus died on the cross for me and His resurrection proves that He has overcome death. Eczema, pales in comparison and i believe that there is power in Jesus' name. Help me remember that. Heavenly Father,  I know at times I've disappointed You and I ask for forgiveness. Teach me to love you more so that I can love myself and then love others as well. Father,  I commit whoever reading this into Your loving arms. Grant them Your love & peace. Let them experience You personally.
In Jesus' name we pray,
Amen

Xoxo
Eczema Beauty